I went to a Big Box Store with my father the other day so that he could get a new Television. He had a 32 inch Sony he had purchased during the Carter Administration and he was past due an upgrade. We found a nice 46” LED on sale for a great price so we loaded it up and took it home so mom could tell us where to put it. So far, so good.
I used the “Quick Start” guide to get it set up and that was relatively simple. In less than half an hour (after mom had decided where it went) we were sitting there watching a college basketball game in vibrant HD. That’s when the trouble began.
The TV had a little sticker running across the bottom that I had neglected to remove that listed all the features of the television. My dad started asking me what they were and I didn’t know, I didn’t really care, it was his TV. He wouldn’t let it go so I started looking through the packaging for a user guide and couldn’t find one. I referred back to the “Quick Start” guide and they found this.
Download the complete user guide at www.tvcompany.com/service/
Easy enough, I thought. I grabbed my tablet and went to download the guide. On the page I found there was no reference to model we had purchased. I am not going to describe in detail what I went through to search for the guide, but I did search the site, Google, yahoo and all the popular social media outlets, no guide.
My dad was taking his first look at the “Quick Start” guide. “Why don’t you just call this number?” I hesitated. There was a long pause in the conversation. Call center service? Not my favorite thing. Too late, “I’ll go get the phone.” He was off. I was trapped. When he got back he was already dialing. He handed me the phone. I was done for.
“Welcome to ‘TVcompany’s’ Award winning service Department” I heard coming from the other end in a familiar voice. You know the one. Female, friendly and professional, compassionate, artificial. I swear the same woman records the automated customer service greeting for every company in America. I hate her. She sends chills down my spine. She finished her pitch and gave me the obligatory “please hold for the next available representative.” So I held.
And I held. I was on hold . . . forever. (Forever, as a concept, has changed a lot since I was a kid. In olden days, forever was roughly the lime between Halloween and Christmas. In today’s self indulgent I want it now, and it’s all about me society forever is about the length of an average YouTube video. Don’t even get me started on “epic”.) I was on hold a really long time. I’m not sure how long, roughly 15 minutes of game time. That’s about 45 minutes real time.
Finally, an actual human came on the line and introduced himself as “Bart” part of “‘TVcompany’s’ Award winning service Department”. I asked where I could get a user guide for my dad’s new TV and he said in a very cheerful voice, “I’d be glad to help you with that but first we need to register your product.” He started asking me questions and I had no answers for him. This was my dad’s TV. My father, much older and wiser than I, refused to get on the phone. I began relaying questions and answers back and forth like some kind of service tech to human translator. Halftime was gone before I knew it. We finished the registration and Bart informed me he was going to put me on hold . . . again . . . and get someone who could help me with my issue. All I needed was a guide. You have to transfer me to an expert for that?
As I sat there with my ear sweating, I began to wonder what exactly this service department had won awards for. Answering the phone? Outstanding customer confusion? Longest phone call in all of recorded history to answer a simple question? Who gives out these awards? Can I get one?
After assuring Ray that I had thoroughly searched the site and the rest of the internet for the nonexistent guide he put me on hold again so that he could check for himself. He eventually somehow discovered that this particular guide had not yet be put on the site and that I was neither crazy nor an idiot. He promised to email my father a copy of the guide. Total time: roughly ¾ of a college basketball game.
There is a point to this rambling narrative. No matter what our job is, we are all engaged in customer service on some level. In order to achieve “Award Winning customer service” the first thing everyone needs to do is find out what the customer wants. It sounds simple but I spent an hour and a half on the phone the other day simply because this particular service department wasn’t really interested in why I had called. They didn’t ask the most important question. “What does my customer want?”
My dad got the guide by email yesterday. The file is corrupted and wouldn’t open. I told him he was on his own.